Back from the brink: some of the news fit to print

24 May 2007

(including images)
In my quest for idiocy on this planet, I occasionally stumble upon truly staggering sites. Like this one: Heliocentrism is an Atheistic Doctrine. I mean…what do I mean? Words fail. Since this is a blog in support of Brownback’s presidency, I shouldn’t be surprised, I suppose. Please, somebody tell me this is an elaborate joke

The fact that this blog is powered by wordpress proves my long-held suspicion that even bags of hammers can learn to use good software and imitate human behaviour almost perfectly. But ye shall know them by the rocks in their heads that fall out all over the page!

Pshaw. It’s got to be a troll..a spoof…a parody…the alternatives are truly horrifying to contemplate…

Since the murder of Du’a Khalil Aswad a couple of weeks ago, at least 12 more women were killed “in the name of honour” in Kurdistan. For more on the increase in violence against women in “liberated” Iraq, see here. Even a hardcore pacifist like me wants to destroy the bastards responsible. We cannot tolerate intolerance.

On an entirely lighter side, for those of you working on research papers, I give you a beautifully hilarious guide to Using the Passive Voice in Scientific Writing! Weep with laughter; I am.

Since you are already weeping, consider this: lately, Islamic countries have been at the forefront of…eh…backwardness, having had the torch passed to them by Christianity somewhat embarrassed about the failure of its own metaphysical and epistemological claims (not that they’d ever admit it…). Still…Islamic bicycles?

Yet another newsite in the immortal tradition of The Onion (yeah yeah yeah! Intelligent Falling theory!!!) and Wonkette: NewsBiscuit. My current favourite is Russua and Estonia “pretending to have computers”.

Insane asylum, late night.

First inmate (shouting): “I am Napoleon!”
Second inmate: “How do you know?”
First Inmate: “Because God told me!”
Third inmate (from another room): “I did NOT!”

***
“I just don’t have faith. Sorry. Can’t fake it. But I’m no more angry, purposeless or immoral than the next guy. And if God invented free will then this is all His fault anyway.”
–John Moore

***

Awesomeness of the week: the eruption of Tvashtar on Io:

***

New emotions identified barely in time for Summer:
requiapathy: the combination of relief and guilt that comes with the sudden realization that you no longer miss a dead loved one.

seprudity: the feeling of appreciating a coworker’s dedication without fully understanding his or her job function.

trepatiousness: a synthesis of rage and jealousy, though more muted and often accompanied by a sensation of weightlessness.

(from The Onion, of course)

When I get to Mars, I’m going spelunking: Possible cave entrances on Mars
Seven dark spots seen in Mars Odyssey THEMIS images could be the entrances to underground caves on Mars. The researchers who identified these caves have given them the following names:
Dena (-6.084 N, 239.061 E)
Chloe (-4.926 N, 239.193 E)
Wendy (-8.099 N, 240.242 E)
Annie (-6.267 N, 240.005 E)
Abbey & Nikki (-8.498 N, 240.349 E)
Jeanne (-5.636 N, 241.259 E)
Credit: NASA / JPL / U. Arizona / G. Cushing et al. 2007

Also, All (known) objects in the Solar System larger than 200 miles in diameter. (Yes, I live in the USA, it’s 321.8688 km…;))

Dumbo Octopus: naturally, with a name like that, it is fittingly and thoroughly lovable:

Did you know that GoogleMaps has a Mars option? I didn’t, but now I do, and am happy.;)

Some sheer brilliance from GrrlScientist: To Be a Good Republican You Must Believe…

And, finally, a short and insignificant list of the very few minor, innocent and irrelevant mistakes made by the Bush administration. Enjoy!

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